nightmare~

Prologue..

I had that nightmare again!

It's 3 AM in the morning when i woke up screaming. My body is shaking from the dream, the shadow and the people screaming for help, crying and pleading..
My body won't stop shaking from the shocked that i had from the nightmare and cold sweats won't stop dripping from my pale cold body...

I've been experiencing these nightmares every first friday of the month ever since i become 13, and now i'm 20 and turning to 21 three months from now...I don't know why but as time passes by the nightmare became more clear and realistic as if trying to warn me of the impending doom...When? Where? I don't know but i know it is SOON...

I tried to sleep but everytime i close my eyes the images starts to flood my brain so i decided to stay awake and wait till morning..i just stared across the window of my room looking at the glittering star and the moon, mesmerized by it silent beauty.. 

My Melancholy

I’ve always walk alone, all by myself and often misunderstood.

That’s why when I’ve met you I was so happy and later realized

I'm already in loved with you!

That is why I wanted to be with you,

to be close to you.

So I did what I have to do

to be near you, to be with you!

I did all to express my feelings,

I gave up myself to have you,
do things i don't normally do, 

up to the point that i was no longer myself

sacrifices made for us, so we can be happy..

But as times goes by I've started to fade away.

I started to became apart of the background

of the story you called YOUR LIFE

I became the past and no longer your present.

What really hurts me most is that you never bothered!

you never care, as I slowly fade away, wither and wilt..

You let me go effortless 

I shouted, I called and pleaded for help

but you never listened.

You just stand there...looking,

watching as I crumble, disappear 

and what sucks the most,  i can't do anything.

After all that I did for you,

you never came when i need you most...

you left me with all the pain

with all the sufferings that i can no longer bear..

and where are you now? NOWHERE!!

...

Alas! I’m here, once again

in this empty road

walking all alone.

With every step I make

reminding me of those moments of ours.

Those laughter we shared, joys we had,

memories we choose to cherish..

And the most, the promise that we use to have

I was a fool not to realize that you're just using me,

a fool to entrust my heart to you.

...

But in spite of it all,  I can never hide the fact 

that I WAS HAPPY!

Happy because for ones

in this road we called LIFE

I experience the thing called “LOVE”;

its mysteries, sacrifices and power

even if it’s not TRUE. 

That for once I felt happiness

even though I AM FALLING.

I’ve proven that even us, fallens and condemned, 

knew its meaning, its essence and its miracle

of the "THING" called LOVE

and for that I’m proud.

And so as I cry my last tears

and bid my emotions goodbye

I want you you to know:

“I LOVE YOU”.

-leehaeji

good morning!

as i enjoy watching some videos at youtube, a light from the window catch my eyes.
Alas it is morning already. The 7 long hours of searching thru the internet, watching videos on how to make you blog cool SOMEHOW pays off. some improvements are made but only to the extent of my knowledge when it comes to web designing. i know i need more time and knowledge and a lot of designing intuition before i can make my dream blog, but i know i getting there. Someday i will make my dream blog, someday...but for now i think it is time to say goodbye. time to log off the pc and sleep and wait until the sun set once again....so goodnight to my blog and my reader!until we meet again...

it is friday~

no matter how i hide this, it always shows..my love for friday!

why?even i dont know..it is as if my body sense a strange feeling even time the clock strike 12:00 mn on thursday. i just felt relaxed all of the sudden after a tiring day at work with all the buzzing noise of people talking and endless beeping of the avaya phone..uhmm thank god it's friday!

but it still to early to celebrate, i still have one more day before the weekends so i shouldn't be enjoying just yet....i should conserve my remaining energy for now and the best way to do that is to sleep with the new aircon that my parent bought..LOL!

anyway i think this is it for now...

just watch out for my upcoming posts about the events in my life: my happiness, sorrow, sadness, MELANCHOLY and stuff here in my BLOG...

:)

LEEHAEJI~

i want to sing~

How I wish to sing

The melodies of my heart pouring

Of all the thoughts kept inside

About the feelings I am hiding

How I wish to sing

To sing as loud as I can be

Throat ache, my voice cracks

Mind goes numb and eyes pouring

Finally, how I wish to sing

My legs grows weak and hands trembling

Heart is now content and empty

Wishing and hoping that someday

You will find me