that night, why my tears suddenly fell as the rode the jeep on the way home...
as i mourn on my bed silently so that no one would hear me..
and trying to sleep, convincing myself that by the next morning
all the heartache will be gone,
BUT IT DIDN'T!it never did..
~i was so heart broken that i thought suicide as a way to ease the pain...
i was so devastated that every night i cried just thinking what happened
that every day i looked at the mirror i saw my red eyes, sore at crying....
and my heart aching wishing that i didn't come that night to celebrate our victory...
~i was kinda expecting that it'll happen, that you'll take the "dare"
but i wasn't expecting that you 'll still do that EVEN IN MY PRESENCE...
while i was there and part of the circle...
~tsk tsk tsk...i can never forget what happen that night,
how that simple "DARE" ruined us from the what we are
at least that is what i think of us...
from all the our moments together; the good and bad times
everything that i could remember, spoiled by that single "DARE"..
~i know that it was kids play but that time
i can only think of one way to lessen my pain,
to save what is left of my broken heart:
and that is to forcefully remove the SCENE in my consciousness
but every time i see you, those fake smile of yours
those laughters like nothing happened...
i was so hurt every time i see YOU
so i ended up avoiding you, and ignoring you!
~it was hard for me because we share the same classroom
to avoid and ignore you because every time i look at the corner
you are there, sitting, studying and reviewing for the board exam...
i would like to tell you the truth when you once asked me
but i was in so much pain every time i go near you!
~as time goes by, we slowly grew apart and before we notice it we're strangers
we can never share the same room or celebrate an event together
or hung with our friends or watch fireworks at moa..
we're "complete strangers" to each other; like we never knew one selves...
~i know your MAD AT ME, but to make it even
i would like to tell you
I NEVER MOVED ON!
WHY?you might ask..
even I DON'T KNOW WHY..but i'm certain
SOMEDAY I WILL KNOW WHY
until know i have feelings for you
and when that time comes,
i hope for the best for you..
-leehaeji
dedicated to my beloved
